Piling on the challenges!

My dog, Mr. Bertz

I have what I would like to call a healthy temper. . . a very healthy temper.  Healthy, like that belligerent, old, Irish drunk who just won't leave the bar, healthy.  It often got me in hot water when I was younger, but now that I can control it better, it mostly just leaves me feeling terrible when I lose it.  So from here on out I am going to make a conscious effort not to yell.  No more yelling at the kids to go to bed from the other room.  No more deciding to blame my horrible day on my lazy old dog who keeps walking under my feet, because tripping over him happened to be the last straw.  Just no more yelling.


The last two days have gone outstanding if you ignore the fact I am catching the boys' cold from this weekend.  I have been able to wake up and work out (which feels amazing) and I have been making the effort in dressing that I wanted to. Slacking a bit in keeping up with the house but, meh, doing what I can.

Here is the outfit for Wednesday:

And here is today's:

The current issue I am trying to address is that I need something to do.  I really only have a legitimate reason to leave the house (aside from the boy's baseball practice) once a week or so when I need to go shopping.  It is lonely and I think it is time to take on a class/hobby/gym; really anything that will get me out of the house.  Most of my brain power has been spent trying to figure out what to do with myself until I start school in the fall.

Practice makes progress

This morning was a bust, nothing I had planned on happened. Here is a quick recap:

• Working out: Did not get out of bed early enough.
• Breakfast: Not enough eggs to feed me and the boys.  So what did I decide to do you may ask?  Call it all a total loss and go get a fried chicken sandwich. . . because that seems like a reasonable solution. Right?
• Getting dressed: Decided to have a huge fight with my boyfriend instead.

Generally, my brain thinks everything needs to be perfect and go as planned or ABSOLUTELY NOTHING CAN BE RIGHT OR WORK OUT!  This is clearly because I am a highly rational person.  But while I was eating my chicken sandwich I did come to my senses and realize I could still accomplish most of my goals, just not quite how I had envisioned them.

So I got dressed.

And even did my makeup.

Went for a walk after I picked up the boys.  And I reminded myself that, as I tell my youngest, tomorrow is another day.  So tomorrow, I will try again after I go to the store and get some eggs.

Also, on a side note, I tried dry shampoo for the first time and LOVED it.  I used Suave Keratin Infusion dry shampoo.

Remaking myself one day at a time.

As I do every year, January 1st I sat down and drew a mission statement.  Little did I know my goal would prove itself more difficult than previous years in as little as 1 month.   This year I vowed to take care of myself.  

I do not know why this has always proved so difficult for me, but now that nearly everything in my life has been taken care of it is time to deal with myself; physically, mentally, and spiritually.  This blog is to chronicle my year long journey to the me I want to be.  The me I put on hold when I had kids.  

The first few things I have put into action are:

• Eat healthier and be mindful of what I am eating.  I will be using Sparkpeople to track my calories.  http://www.sparkpeople.com/  My username is Buncle.
  
• Exercise.  Also being tracked on Sparkpeople.
  
• Developing a personal self-image that is positive.  For every negative thing about myself I allow myself to say, think about, or dwell on I will post 2 positive things about myself to this blog.
  
• Getting dressed!  This one may seem ridiculous, but very necessary (no I am not a nudist, I am lazy.).  I have never done my hair, cared about clothes, or worn make-up, which in many ways I am proud of.  Lately, I have found it is just making me feel like more of a sub-par human being.  My goal is to as often as I can do my hair, put on a little make up and some nice clothes.

Here are some of my previous outfits:

 That's me on the far right.

And this is my snazzy Christmas ensemble.

Sorry for the poor quality pictures, I have never been one to pose for the camera so I had to take what I could get.  I would like to go from dressing like that to this:

 

Not quite so fancy, but more effort.  I want to give myself the time of day.